Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples
Rebuilding Connection Through Emotionally Secure Relationships
Available at Pillars of Wellness: In-person and Telehealth (Indiana-wide)
What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a highly effective, evidence-based approach to couples counseling that helps partners identify, understand, and shift negative interaction cycles. Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, EFT focuses on strengthening the emotional bond between partners and creating a more secure attachment.
The heart of EFT is this: when we feel emotionally disconnected from our partner, conflict often becomes reactive and cyclical—but when we feel safe, seen, and understood, connection can grow.
Why Choose Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?
Research shows that EFT is effective for up to 90% of couples in reducing distress and increasing relationship satisfaction. It works by helping partners:
✅ Identify and de-escalate harmful patterns
✅ Express deeper needs and emotions more safely
✅ Increase empathy, understanding, and emotional responsiveness
✅ Build or restore a sense of emotional safety and connection
Who Can Benefit from EFT?
EFT is ideal for couples who are:
- Feeling emotionally disconnected or distant
- Repeating the same arguments without resolution
- Struggling with intimacy, vulnerability, or trust
- Recovering from betrayal or infidelity
- Facing life transitions (parenthood, job loss, grief)
- Considering separation but unsure whether to stay or go
EFT is also effective for premarital couples looking to establish a strong foundation.
The Three Stages of EFT
EFT follows a structured, phase-based process:
1. Assessment & De-escalation
- Understand each partner’s role in the relationship conflict cycle
- Begin identifying unmet attachment needs behind reactive behaviors
2. Restructuring Emotional Bond
- Learn how to share softer emotions and fears more openly
- Practice emotional responsiveness and re-engagement
- Create corrective emotional experiences together
3. Consolidation & Integration
- Strengthen new patterns of communication and connection
- Resolve lingering issues from earlier conflicts
- Establish a roadmap for continued success beyond therapy
What EFT Sessions Are Like
In EFT sessions, your therapist will:
- Act as a guide, not a referee
- Help slow down difficult conversations and uncover what’s beneath them
- Focus on building emotional safety before pushing for solutions
- Work collaboratively with both partners to understand the full system
Sessions may include:
- Exploring recurring conflict patterns
- Rehearsing new ways of expressing needs and emotions
- Reviewing key moments of connection, disconnection, or trauma
- Supporting reconnection after periods of distress
EFT vs. Skills-Based Couples Therapy
While skills-based therapy focuses on communication techniques, EFT goes deeper—helping couples understand the emotional drivers of conflict and disconnection.
Think of it this way:
- Skills = what to say and do
- EFT = why we feel the way we do and how to respond with care
Many couples benefit from combining both approaches, and our clinicians can help determine what mix is right for you.
Getting Started
📞 To schedule your first session or learn more about our couples and premarital services, contact our administrative team. Whether you come in together—or one of you starts first—we’re here to help you take that next step toward a better relationship.